Are you there, Nicotine? It’s me, Aziz

An ode to my favorite drug

I’m back in Jeddah where I met my first love and smoked my first cigarette. Do I love cigarettes because of Jeddah, or do I love Jeddah because of cigarettes? If you’ve never been here before, don’t come. You won’t like it. Jeddah isn’t a place to “visit” and vacation and go to the beach, at least not yet. Jeddah is loyal only to its residents and devout visitors over the decades. In the summer of 2009 my cousins and I absconded from the family gathering at my grandfather’s Jeddah house with a fresh, stolen pack of Marlboro Golds which were eventually smoked on my aunt’s big red, fluffy couch and sparked the beginning of the most toxic relationship I’ve ever had in my life, with you, nicotine, my only vice and drug of choice.

I’ve heard horror stories about you and all I saw was companionship. Deep thoughts. New friendships. Balconies. A nice, exciting addition to my day. You were my confidant and only friend at times where I wasn’t sure I had anyone else. During Covid, in that shitty …