I don’t want a job, I want to work

Resisting the corporate matrix

I’ve always wanted to be a barista. Waking up at 5am everyday, making coffee and small talk with happy little strangers. It is a job that combines the rare pairing of mechanics and art, in an environment that seems to be free of toxic office politics. To this day, I am envious of the barista’s minimal screen time. I envy how they stay busy and keep their hands dirty. Baristas are happy because they’re busy. The difference between a barista and someone with a fake email job is that the former actually works, while the latter just has a LinkedIn-approved “job”—and I don’t want just a job anymore. I want to work.

Much of what I was conditioned to believe about work is based on the soulless LinkedIn mindset which basically tells us that we need to do what most people are doing, and don’t dare question what LinkedIn people are doing. Isn’t it funny how anyone can fit into the professional world and be considered “serious” and “productive” by simply uploading a professional headshot, adding a fancy albeit inaccurate job title, and regularly posting some AI-generated garbage about how “thrilled” you are to celebrate your work anniversary at your current job—the same job that you secretly hate, at a company that doesn’t give a flying fuck about your financial wellbeing, in an office environment that is very subtly stealing your youth and killing your ambition all because you heard something from someone some time long ago that even your single, childless self should always have a stable income, and that there isn’t room for taking risks or exploring alternative routes for making money. So you choose to stay, because you are either too afraid to explore other options or you just aren’t fully aware that other options exist. I’m here to tell you: other options exist. Being self-employed is much more attainable than you think. I’m not saying you should quit your job now. I’m saying you should acknowledge the existence of other options. Just know that you don’t have to be in this hamster wheel forever. That’s all.

I once received a call from a multinational conglomerate’s HR department basically asking me to work for them. They had no idea what the role was and, as the conversation went on, it didn’t seem like they cared. They liked my “profile”, literally and figuratively, without caring much about what I had to offer. It was one of those companies where you’d show up and get paid without having much to do. I had one of these jobs once. At first, it was comforting to just sit around and get paid to do nothing. Then, slowly but surely, I started to experience quarantine-like symptoms, developing an existential crisis. I reached a point where I hated my job so much but it was just too difficult to leave. For how stable it was, for what other people would think if I just left with no valid reason other than being unhappy, which apparently isn’t valid enough because, like a prearranged forced marriage, you don’t have to be happy so long as everyone else thinks you’ve done the right thing. But the more I stayed within the matrix of this fake email job, the harder it was for me to escape. You become so distracted by the money and ease of work that you start neglecting your ambitions and desires. Before you even know it, you’re 10 years older with zero developed skills, nothing of value created, and absolutely no fulfillment. The worst part? You’re not even rich! You just fell for the trap of investing most of your time at a numbing office while engaging with horrible people and bosses in exchange for an income that never leads to wealth.

Whether they engage with the client or not, a prostitute is still paid for their time. And whether you work at your fake email job or not, you still have to dedicate time and be ready for whenever Meta or Amazon needs you. Because they are paying you. And you should be available 8 hours a day for them. I recently read that these tech companies are hiring people to stay on standby for competitive purposes (hiring all the good talent so that their competitors don’t). To them, you are a tool. An object. Building a machine that will never be yours. You will wait for a boss to tell you what to do in exchange for money. The value of your time is assessed based on algorithmic historical data of people with similar experiences in the same age group. You do not assign the value of your own time, human resources does. They set the terms and call the shots.

It took me a while to unlearn the profoundly bizarre LinkedIn belief that we were all made to have a 9-5 job. That whether you need to, want to, or anything in between, you should have an office job to feel fulfilled and productive and become a participating valid member of society. LinkedIn culture convinces us that it is impossible to go about life without a stable income. That the desire to be free and own your time is not a default choice in your life. How dare you think that you are better than your 9-5? How dare you think you’re good enough to own your own time and make more money? How dare you think that going to an office for 8 hours is not what’s best for you? It’s only the big tech founders and CEOs who have that privilege but you, you are only allowed to work a 9-5 and we will do everything in our power to coerce you to stay.

It seems as though society has split the working class into two distinct groups: employee and business owner. Why? Being a freelancer can be just as lucrative as being an employee, not to mention the added benefit of owning your time and choosing the projects you take on. A more sugar-coated term is “contractor”, which carries a sense of a benefit-less, uninsured, unstable person lost in the corporate world. Let me tell you this: freelancers and contractors make much more money, produce more, and are much freer than most of the glorified LinkedIn slaves commonly referred to as “Directors” and “AVPs”. The word “freelancer” has a different ring to it than “Director” despite the former involving a lot more work and, if done correctly, a lot more money than the latter. Yet in the corporate world freelancers are seen as less-than, and I think I know why. Freelancing isn’t promoted and somewhat stigmatized because, well, companies need employees. The multinational conglomerate that tried to hire me would probably lose a lot of money if they didn’t have a certain amount of full-time employees at their disposal fully dedicated to the organization, with NDA and non-compete clauses in their contracts. It’s not in the capitalist mindset to give everyone control over their time. Everyone is conditioned to live the 4-Hour Life, or 4HL, where most of the time you spend per day is allocated towards 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work, and 4 hours of maintenance, leaving you with only 4 hours to yourself. Just 4. (I recommend following Paul Skallas on X, who frequently talks about the 4HL).

The problem isn’t realizing that a job isn’t for you, the problem is the immense difficulty of navigating life without a job. Beyond having a stable income, jobs provide routine, open doors for new friendships and other relationships. A 9-5 job engages you in a very structured, streamlined way. You don’t really have to think for yourself because you have a job that will do that for you. I loved most of the jobs I’ve had in the past, but I felt so stuck in all of them. It is the antithesis of freedom to have to explain a creative idea to a close-minded boss and sell 33% of your time at a massive discount. A suffocating work environment slashes your potential and unstimulates you, like a Ferrari stuck in traffic or a nicotine-free vape. What’s bizarre to me is that most people never question their jobs. They’re okay with having the illusion of being busy, which subtly steals your life away because you didn’t have the courage to step out and bet on yourself. I’m not just talking about being a bootstrapped tech entrepreneur, I’m talking about simply having the desire to own your time. Most people don’t seem to want to own their own time, and are very much okay with having someone control their lives for them. Why? Because it’s comfortable to be on autopilot. It’s nice to ignore your thoughts. No one wants to think about and explore their potential. It’s too much pressure for the average person. So they remain average and broke and unfulfilled working for a company that wouldn’t care if they died tomorrow. Anything not to confront their own desires.

A scene from a TV show that I will not name shows a creative writer starting an advertorial 9-5 job at a Condé Nast magazine. Blinded by the free snacks and large paychecks, she realizes that she no longer has time to write, and that she was pulled into the corporate matrix. Letting her abandon her dreams to increase shareholder value. Yes, the job paid rent. It made her stable and financially secure, but it came at the cost of killing her higher self. “I want every day to be exciting,” she tells her boss before getting fired. “And scary, and a rollercoaster of creative expression as if I’m creating a new life for myself in France.”

There’s far too many things that numb us throughout our day-to-day as is: doom-scrolling through TikTok, binging Netflix, sleeping.. we shouldn’t have fake jobs that numb us even further. There’s nothing more sobering than realizing how much time we’ve wasted doing all the things we didn’t want to do, all because we were too afraid to do the things we wanted to do. Opting for a 9-5 is just another safe option for people who don’t know who they are, and lack the capability of making a decision for themselves. Much like getting married because your parents told you to or getting a master’s degree because all your friends are doing it.

It’s so exciting to wake up in the morning with a challenge, a goal. It’s much more fun and honorable to chase after money than to wait on a desk for it to come to you every month.

Most people have jobs, most people want to play it safe, and what happens when you do what everybody else is doing? You simply end up like everybody else.

There are those who create the wave, and there are those who ride the wave. Most are afraid of the wave, but life is so much nicer on a wave.